Procrastination

Normally, after I'm done with essays and exams I breathe easy for a bit, the summer inevitably contains the half-hearted search for menial employment, which I won't find if I can help it. I've never been incredibly driven to make money, but that's because my student loan has always supported my not-so-expensive lifestyle (a lot of sitting, a little eating, maybe see a movie)

But this summer is different, because its the last summer that's ever going to be summer in the traditional sense. No longer will the year be divided into terms or quarters or semesters, with those brilliant and sometimes long breaks in between. So this week, which is normally a wind down from the stress of deadlines and revision (i.e. sleeping, drinking copiously, shopping for shorts) has mostly consisted of what I like to call 'life-denial'. This process includes browsing graduate websites with one eye closed (so that it is so blurry you cannot a) notice that there are not that many options, b) admit to yourself that you could have used the last few years to get experience that would prove you can "work in a team" and "communicate well with others"...damn this apathy).

Here's the problem with being a perpetual student until the last moment, you get used to apathy, especially if you pick a course that requires you to read a book, go to a film screening and then demands only 4 hours worth 'contact time'. I know thats not the case for most students, but is generally the case for those chose humanities subjects, who generally do so not for the love of knowledge (be it mostly pointless) but because it looked 'interesting'. Do these decisions you make idolly as a teenager come to effect your life and how you live it?

We'll see.