OK. Not OK.

So for about 3 hours today I thought I might have it figured out. I was browsing graduate websites with one eye shut and an episode of 'The Office' taking up half the screen when I clicked on a link about copywriting in the advertising industry. 'Be creative' it said, 'cool' I said. It's all about the love of writing' it said, 'awesome' I said. So I filled in an application for a summer school, sent it off and went for a walk, a bounce in my step like I'd finally found a direction.

Then I came home and took a test to evaluate whether or not I was a 'diagonal thinker', a key attribute for a potential copywriter; 'linear+lateral' they said. So I spent the last hour or so answering questions about whether statements were true, or assumptions and why baker's shops were unsuccessful and waited for the results. I was nervous about the logic side of things, because I am not a logical person, I tend to make decisions based on whatever I think of first and regret it all later.

But then, a punch in guts, I scored high in linear thinking, I am logical, but I was average at creative thinking. Fuck. I always knew the one thing about myself, 'I am creative, I don't see the world like everybody else does' and according to the one standardized test that I invested in, I'm not. Well shit.

I know, its just one test and I was set on advertising for about 5 minutes. Still, the recommendation that I would be good at account management or HR depressed me intensely. It's not that these are bad occupations, far from it. It's just that my entire family tends to sit in this category, my sister works in HR, a couple of my cousins work in recruitment, my dad used to manage business accounts for BT (don't ask me what he does now, I don't understand it). I've always had it in mind that I'll be different, I'll do something worthwhile, something productive instead of some middle of the road job thats just that, a job.

Damn you diagonal thinking! What am I supposed to do now?

We'll see.