Introduction to my Dysfunction.

Here's the situation. I'm almost 22 and I'm graduating in July. I'm also diving into one of the worst graduate jobs markets ever. But that's not important, what is, is that I have no freakin' idea who I am, what I'm supposed to do, and the avoidance of these questions means that I'm spending this spare time (my bliss month, I'll explain later) when I should be proactive, when everybody is telling me to get on the job horse, struggling with the importance of these decisions.

That's the problem I suppose, with following the classic path. From a young age I never questioned the fact that I would go to university, get a higher education and then some career. Even though neither of my parents did, it was just expected that my generation of my family were going places. But at 18 I didn't think of me at 21, I just picked the easy route, something I would enjoy, nothing too challenging. But after all this time, this money, tonnes of paper and ink and thousands of words, I still don't have anything to offer to world.

So I'm looking, that's all I can do. Its all I can think about. Just reading biographies makes me edgy, because they can never convey how little that person knew about what lay ahead for them. And from the little of life I have truly experienced beyond my computer screen, none of it seems intentional or planned. Things, events, people, they all interact in ways we can't predict.

So here I stand, in more control (in a way) of my life than I will ever be again. On the verge of true adulthood and its not all bad. I'm excited, I'm terrified but I am not ready.

We'll see.